I won't be in a romantic relationship until I'm 26 years ....

Guess what everyone!! I've decided that i will not get involved in a relationship with anyone until i turn 26 years old or until i have achieved the goal i have set for myself early (i doubt that). So until then people i'm all occupied with music; Rock is my life and love. Music will be what i love most and will always be since im gonna be a rock star mwhahahha..o..k...? OK

Next up is the big decision on my career. I really love rock music and i love being in a band, but i also love being a solo musician also. Recently, i have been getting a few offers for collaborating and doing alot of solo work. I was given a month to decide wether or not to join their group. But it also has a condition, its either them or my band. I can't release anything under both parts. So yeh i really don't want to lose either but it's been really hard. I want to make sure i choose the correct path for myself so that i don't have to regret anything. I really hope that if my "band" is not active w/o me that it will not be forgotten and be revived again one day. If anything should happen, i want it on an indefinite hiatus and not permanantly disbanded like my former bands. In which i am terribly disappointed did not work out. Ahh i dont make no sense right now but whatever.

To those who are somewhat involved with something i wrote today, i'm glad i have friend to talk to about it and make through this part of my life. And of course you guys are mentioned in my future CD's dedication sections that corresponds to the songs i worte for ya. ^^ Read more!

It hurts so much and there's nothing I can do

(￣へ￣メ) My heart hurts; it aches for this person i have chosen to give it to. The pain that involves is sharp and searing in my chest. If only i knew what to do. It hurts to love, yet at the same time its even worse feeling guilty about it. I'm crying and I just want it to end. I want to have everyone forget about me slowly so that they won't have to go through what i am because of my actions.
My mind wants to pick up the knife and end it right away. But my head is so unclear and everything physically hurts just thinking about it all. I'm actually scared of losing it all. I'm going insame. And it's all because of the one word. LOVE.
Love is evil; I hate it. I never want to deal with it ever. T_T.
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